I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
