I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize