when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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