So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She even gives head with a lisp.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
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uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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