I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
