I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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