I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
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Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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