Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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