Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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