Don't make out with my wife yet
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize