he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
