so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
