He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
