Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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