Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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