i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
