Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  we're not divorced.

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  (214): your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything. (1-214): we're not divorced. http://tfl.nu/1yaa
  Replies (12) Good night (989) Bad night (3267)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.

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  (720): the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom. http://tfl.nu/h1iv
  Replies (13) Good night (913) Bad night (3376)
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  (714): View more from California

  his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time

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  (714): his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time http://tfl.nu/seuc
  Replies (21) Good night (4155) Bad night (689)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.

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  (651): glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic. http://tfl.nu/f4h9
  Replies (22) Good night (5734) Bad night (891)
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  (914): View more from New York

  There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone

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  (914): There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone http://tfl.nu/hyr8
  Replies (240) Good night (2171) Bad night (8528)
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  (949): View more from California

  Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.

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  (949): Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN. http://tfl.nu/2o4b
  Replies (34) Good night (14646) Bad night (1517)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...

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  (215): It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away... http://tfl.nu/zf28
  Replies (10) Good night (3137) Bad night (977)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  ttyl tear gas

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  (604): ttyl tear gas http://tfl.nu/bmdg
  Replies (13) Good night (1171) Bad night (2530)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?

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  (860): Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night? http://tfl.nu/99ew
  Replies (4) Good night (717) Bad night (1420)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch

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  (609): I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch http://tfl.nu/jghc
  Replies (7) Good night (2533) Bad night (753)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.

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  (540): Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat. http://tfl.nu/hg85
  Replies (4) Good night (2096) Bad night (612)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold

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  (407): I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold http://tfl.nu/xl1f
  Replies (6) Good night (971) Bad night (558)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.

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  (603): Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride. http://tfl.nu/at65
  Replies (6) Good night (863) Bad night (462)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone

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  (608): It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone http://tfl.nu/08pc
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.

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  (210): just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened. http://tfl.nu/ruvq
  Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (175)

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