feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO