I heard we made out
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.