Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  put a dollar in it?

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  (319): umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do (1-319): put a dollar in it? http://tfl.nu/6gdy
  Replies (14) Good night (1364) Bad night (4689)
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  (818): View more from California

  don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.

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  (818): don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily. http://tfl.nu/2c0y
  Replies (24) Good night (3658) Bad night (700)
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  (619): View more from California

  The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it

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  (619): The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it http://tfl.nu/ndqf
  Replies (66) Good night (1013) Bad night (4308)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.

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  (586): Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now. http://tfl.nu/hw0c
  Replies (41) Good night (6167) Bad night (1100)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I gave up sex for lent.

  (646): View more from New York

  I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.

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  (678): I gave up sex for lent. (646): I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter. http://tfl.nu/87gp
  Replies (18) Good night (1245) Bad night (4555)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.

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  (407): I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk. http://tfl.nu/exk9
  Replies (25) Good night (6703) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.

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  (650): they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids. http://tfl.nu/zjz8
  Replies (6) Good night (7635) Bad night (1095)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.

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  (425): Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older. http://tfl.nu/u48g
  Replies (3) Good night (5318) Bad night (992)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.

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  (570): just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands. http://tfl.nu/q7ak
  Replies (13) Good night (1080) Bad night (2741)
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  (510): View more from California

  I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.

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  (510): I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/v2uu
  Replies (5) Good night (1223) Bad night (2774)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.

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  (812): No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety. http://tfl.nu/ybkw
  Replies (5) Good night (990) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Never mind I found pizza just bring sex

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  (216): I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex (216): Never mind I found pizza just bring sex http://tfl.nu/1kkn
  Replies (4) Good night (1921) Bad night (654)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night

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  (717): I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night http://tfl.nu/a1cb
  Replies (1) Good night (404) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..

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  (407): Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks.. http://tfl.nu/vp4f
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Lord god protect this child

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  (770): Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me (603): Lord god protect this child http://tfl.nu/t9s3
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (324)

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