Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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