I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dick very happy bro
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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