Soap is not a condiment
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
