I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize