How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
