I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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