Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
