Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
