does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
