First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I party with great urgency now.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
