I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
