Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
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I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
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I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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