what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
