Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Success! We fucked roommates!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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