I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
