Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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