i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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