The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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