Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
