Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
