CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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