therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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