belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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