Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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