Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
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And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
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If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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