wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's never too late to be topless.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
