I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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