sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Still dying that you shit outside
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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