I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
