he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
