he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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