i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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