So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
