Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize