There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
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She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
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they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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