Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
