Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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