There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
there was a trapeze. enough said
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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