I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
