that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
