im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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