If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
