i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
